5 min read
Rome has had its share of crazy emperors. Here’s an extensive list of its all-time worst:
CALIGULA
Caligula (37-41 CE) — declared himself a god. He appointed his horse, Incitatus, as a consul. He once commanded his troops to attack the ocean and collect seashells as “spoils of war.”
NERO
Nero (54-68 CE) — best known for murdering his mother and wife. He famously witnessed the Great Fire of Rome — then performed a musical concert while watching the city burn. He would later blame Christians for the disaster.
COMMODUS
Commodus (180-192 CE) — renamed Rome “Colonia Commodiana” after himself. He later fought as a gladiator in the arena and charged the city treasury with 1 million sesterces per appearance.
ELAGABALUS
Elagabalus (218-222 CE) — became emperor as a teenager. He later installed a massive stone phallus as Rome’s chief deity. He also had a weird habit of suffocating dinner guests with rose petals dropping from a false ceiling.
CARACALLA
Caracalla (198-217 CE) — killed his brother in their mother’s arms, then ordered all depictions of his sibling destroyed. He executed 20,000 of his brother’s supporters in a single day.
DOMITIAN
Domitian (81-96 CE) — had the odd habit of spending hours daily catching and stabbing flies with a golden needle. He also executed a man for making jokes about his baldness.
TIBERIUS
Tiberius (14-37 CE) — retired to Capri, where he maintained a private torture chamber. He also had a derangement where he trained young boys called his “minnows” to swim between his legs while he bathed.
CLAUDIUS
Claudius (41-54 CE) — was so paranoid about assassination that he required guests to be stripped and searched before dining with him. He also commonly fell asleep during his own court sessions.
VITELLIUS
Vitellius (69 CE) — ruled as emperor of Rome for only eight months — spending millions on feasts, including a dish made from flamingo tongues and peacock brains.
MAXIMINUS THRAX
Maximinus Thrax (235-238 CE) — an emperor the size of a giant who stood eight feet tall, drank seven gallons of wine daily and could crush stones in his bare hands.
GALLIENUS
Gallienus (253-268 CE) — known to celebrate his military victories by parading captives dressed as different nations, and at times accidentally included his own Roman citizens.
HELIOGABALUS
Heliogabalus (218-222 CE) — had the diabolical routine of releasing venomous snakes into the Colosseum crowd for entertainment. And he got a kick out of serving his guests painted rocks as food.
ANTONINUS BASSIANUS
Antoninus Bassianus (211-217 CE) — built a temple for his horse, awarded it a salary, and appointed it to the College of Priests.
DIDIUS JULIANUS
Didius Julianus (193 CE) — became the emperor of Rome by literally buying the empire at auction from the Praetorian Guard, ruling for only 66 days before being executed.
VALERIAN
Valerian (253-260 CE) — was the Roman Emperor who was captured by Persians, who used him as a human footstool and eventually had him stuffed as a trophy.
OTHO
Otho (69 CE) — spent more time on his wig collection than governing as the emperor. He was so narcissistic that he carried a mirror into battle to check his appearance.
CARINUS
Carinus (283-285 CE) — was a Roman emperor who married and divorced nine women in one year. He kept their dowries each time.
PROBUS
Probus (276-282 CE) — forced his soldiers to plant vineyards in Gaul, leading them to murder him when he wouldn’t let them drink the wine.
MACRINUS
Macrinus (217-218 CE) — was the first Roman emperor who wasn’t a senator. He was later killed while trying to flee dressed as a female slave.
PHILIP THE ARAB
Philip the Arab (244-249 CE) — once celebrated Rome’s 1000th birthday by releasing 1,000 pairs of gladiators to fight to the death.
HOSTILIAN
Hostilian (251 CE) — ruled as emperor for only four months before dying of plague because he insisted on wearing a mask made of precious gems during public appearances.
LUCIUS VERUS
Lucius Verus (161-169 CE) — was an emperor known for powdering his hair with gold dust and traveling with a personal circus troupe.
CONSTANTIUS GALLUS
Constantius Gallus (351-354 CE) —was so violent that his own guards executed him after he ordered the torture of people who served him undercooked meat.
